Turning 1

I've spent the last week or so looking back through my photo reel. This has reminded me of not only what I was doing this time 12 whole months ago, but also how I was feeling. 

An 'anxiously excited' probably best sums up how I felt. I know I was telling myself very regularly that all would be OK and then I'd spiral into all the things that could possibly go wrong. That's never helpful. Cheering myself on from the inside proved to be the answer in the end.

I laughed often at myself when thinking about this self-imposed pressure. Hadn't I just written about how my time away had allowed me to rest, relax and live a reasonably care free life and the benefits that flowed from that?  Here I was free diving into the complete unknown of a book launch, and in public via a sold out event at my local book store!

The photos I finally decided upon for my social media post for this 1st birthday celebration told the story of how far we've both come in 12 months, me and my book. I recorded a video for my socials. I talked about what I've learnt because we all seem so conditioned these days to find a 'learning' in everything we do and share it. Good, bad or otherwise.

I reflected on being slightly fixated on the stats that I believed would demonstrate success in the self-published indie-author space prior to my book launch. After all I had a marketing plan I was ticking off at a rapid rate and a few reviews trickling through and I'd crafted a fancy spreadsheet to record it all on. I now wonder what I was trying to prove. I was always only writing for myself and I'd done that.

For me the stats on how many books I've sold and how many people have liked my posts on the Gram and FB didn't give me the anticipated buzz. It did at the start. The dopamine hit of logging on and off the various platforms that sold my books every single day was sucking me in. Then I quickly lost interest.

he humble human connection. The emails, texts, reviews that my readers had taken the time to send me, the touching stories and messages passed along via my friends. That's what gave me joy and still does.

People freely sharing with me what they're doing to change things up in their own lives, where their happy place is, what made them laugh and what made them cry when they read my words- the real stuff. That's what made this indie author smile.  

I've also come to know I never needed to worry about where people could buy my book. It's falling into the right hands all by itself, finding its people.

My own copy travelled back to Thailand with me. Watching my Thai friends who I've written about flick to the page with their photo on it and smile was gold. It kept me company while I lazed on Karon beach and ate yet another cup of passionfruit ice cream curls. But most of the time it has been hanging out on my beside table. I'm comforted by the fact that if the urge strikes, I can flick to a page and once again transport myself back to my happy place instantly. 

I will be forever grateful to my book for giving me so many special and unforgettable experiences over the last 12 months.

It's a constant reminder of what it means to keep 'doing life differently'.

Mel x